How to disagree with your boss without losing your cool… or job
How to communicate your grievances
The tone is vital. You need to remember that you’re not looking to spark conflict; theconversationdoesn’t need to be adversarial and you need to do everything in yourpowerto ensure you’re collaborative and communicative.
You need to appear confident, but not defensive. You need to strike the balance between speaking with authority — almost matter of factly — and coming across too strong. Take all emotion out of the equation and focus on the facts: what the problem is.
It’s always advisable to think about theconversationin your head before you approach yourboss. Outline the problem and try and come up with several solutions — this way you’ll come across as a problem solver and not a conflict instigator.
Instead of saying “I don’t agree,” saying something like “If we took that direction, I’d be concerned about X,” or “Myexperiencehas been a little different. Would it be OK if I shared some my learnings and concerns?”
Askquestions, but don’t put yourbosson the spot. “Have we considered X,” or “have we factored in X,” are a good way to go about this.
Try and move away from usinglanguagethat perpetuates the ‘us’ versus ‘them’ mentality— make it seem like you’re on their side and you’re ateam.
Be polite, consultative, and listen to what they have to say. It’s important to understand their perspective and empathize.
The interaction is not about asserting yourself or yourpersonality, the objective is to communicate your thoughts and opinions in a safespace— and yourbossshould be able to do to the same.
What happens if youstilldisagree
It’s possible that you may not agree — or even agree to disagree.
If this is thecase, you need to take it in your stride and be thankful that you were given the opportunity to express your concerns.
A goodbossshould appreciate the fact that it’s not always easy for employees to speak up and will be grateful that you care enough about thebusinessand the rest of theteamto do so.
If theconversationdoesn’t reach your desired outcome, you’ll need to think about whether the issue is important enough for you to either consider moving on or consulting someone else frommanagement. If you opt for the latter, be transparent and mention you’d like to explore it further.
You may also want to ask to trial your process for a limited time. Let them know you feel very strongly about this and ask whether they’d be open to letting you try your method for a couple of weeks. It’s plausible that yourbosswill be open to allowing short-term change, as opposed to committing to changing things in the long-term.
Theseconversationswill be draining. You’ll have to make a concerted effort to keep emotions at bay, and you run the risk of not getting yourbossto agree with you. But, if you follow these guidelines you should be able to have a productiveconversationwithout losing your cool, and hopefully, yourbosswill respect you even more after you’ve expressed youropinion.
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